


Charlie and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

by Coque_N_Balls



Category: Original Work, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: :"), Crack, Crack Fic, Demisexual Character, Gay Character, Multi, Non-binary character, Pansexual Character, This is Charlie's adventure yet everybody else appears more than her adjdakfajfafajfj :"), Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, im so sorry. so very sorry, please forgive me gray i didn't mean to do sein dirty like this, so u h h h narancia & giorno & mista & fugo & edward elric exist :), what the heck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26688628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coque_N_Balls/pseuds/Coque_N_Balls
Summary: It's Thursday, April 22nd, 2021, 7:30 AM. Follow Charlie through her worst day ever.
Relationships: Bianca & Giallo, Bianca/Sein, Charlie/Ylias, Haven & Robin, Max Whittaker/Seraphyn, Narancia Ghirga/Sierra Ahuja
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	Charlie and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> The song for this chapter is Burning Down The House by Talking Heads.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie wakes up, Narancia makes pancakes, and Bianca has A Time.

_Here's your ticket pack your bag_   
_Time for jumpin' overboard_   
_The transportation is here_   
_Close enough but not too far_   
_Maybe you know where you are_   
_Fightin' fire with fire_

**_ 7:00 AM _ **

Charlie opens her eyes. "You have **got** to be kidding me.." She mumbles before slipping out of bed. " _Water..._ " She grumbles, snatching the glass of water off the end-table and chugging it.

* * *

_**T** **hirty** __**minutes earlier**_

Narancia yawned. He slid out of his room like a snake, still in his [pajamas](https://target.scene7.com/is/image/Target/GUEST_b64565da-9a88-4db9-8f78-d79814e369d8?wid=488&hei=488&fmt=pjpeg) that he stole from Target. The black-haired boy started thinking while he slid down the stairs. _I'm gonna make a super awesome breakfast for everyone, and then Fugo's gonna come out of that weird shared room that he has with everyone else and be like 'Wow, Narancia! You **aren't** an idiot!' And I'm gonna do a super sweet slide in my heelies_. He nodded. Bean chuckled a bit before stepping onto the stairs. "Narancia.. Are you sleepwalking again?"

"Bean. Beanie baby. Cheesy bean and rice burri-bro from the Taco Bell dollar menu. I'm completely awake and aware of where I am right now. I have some important business to attend to in the kitchen, so could you maybe steer everyone away from there until the afternoon?"

"Well, maybe. I **might** be able to do that.. For a price." Bean hmm'ed. Narancia groaned loudly. "No. Nope. No! No thanks! Bye!" He got up and just walked the rest of the way to the kitchen. Upon arrival, he started **thinking**. He took a much too small bowl out of the bowl cabinet and started the creation of his [Bulb Fields](https://th.bing.com/th/id/Ra687662b64cf6862d571ef774b2773dc?rik=G7fyXXlIGeY19g&riu=http%3a%2f%2fuploads6.wikiart.org%2fimages%2fvincent-van-gogh%2fbulb-fields-1883\(1\).jpg&ehk=UlGyASJJ9NOPJj98biqHcYgKGqGOuol8%2bM5fp9Qrqp4%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw), combining the dry ingredients, only stopping to briefly consider selling the flour as cocaine, then added the wet ingredients. _Milk._ He thought as he guesstimated the amount of milk needed. 

_Eggs. Those go into the bowl._ He walked over to the fridge and whipped it open. Oh no. Now there's _another_ hole in the drywall. (Fun fact; they didn't give the kitchen real walls because they expected it to be the _least_ accident-prone room in the house. Unfortunately, Narancia, Robin, and Giorno all like to cook.) Narancia grabbed the eggs out and put them on the cabinet right beside the fridge, (Why did he do that? He couldn't leave them there. He would have to move them at some point.) _Eggs._ **Crack.** Shell slipped into the bowl along with yolk and white. He continued.

Bianca slid into the room, then stared at him. " _Nara, what... What is that?_ " They whispered, fearful that his monstrosity would come alive. Narancia did not answer. He was too caught up in making his ratatouille. He was but a humble rat boy, giving his soups and souffles to his friends and family. They should be grateful. _Even if the pancakes are_ _crunchy_. Bianca eventually got bored and went to go play with Narancia's dog, _Diavolo_. Someone coughed behind Bianca. The cougher that coughed in their coughing distance was none other than Giallo, who was _basically_ Bianca's little brother. He grinned. "Bee. I need you to do something. Can you put this [drawing](https://imgur.com/a/JHPITjn) on the fridge? Seraphyn kidnapped me to do a wing workout, so they're too sore for me to use 'em."

Bianca took the paper, not stopping to look at it. "Uh, yeah.. Sure, Gia. Let me do that for you.." Bianca snuck into the kitchen, past Narancia, to the fridge, and stuck it on via magnet. Narancia threw his vile mixture into the oven. _Do pancakes go in the oven? Yeah. They have to. How else would they cook?_ He smiled. _I'm a genius._ He walked off, to go find Sierra. Giallo and Bianca went off on their own way to go play with Diavolo.

A tired Ivy stumbled into the kitchen for nourishment. She got a glass and filled it with orange juice. Unfortunately, she did not get to drink it. Diavolo ran into the room after a ball that Bianca threw, and slammed into Ivy. The juice? Everywhere. The glass? Shattered. _Oh no_. It's everywhere. It's in the cracks of the **_real wood floor_**. Charlie wakes up, drinks a glass of water, puts clothes on, then comes downstairs.

The smoke detector wails. Charlie comes into the kitchen, stares at Ivy crumpled up on the floor, and sighs. "Alexa, play Burning Down The House by Talking Heads."

_No visible means of support and you have not seen nothin' yet_   
_Everything's stuck together_   
_And I don't know what you expect staring into the TV set_   
_Fighting fire with fire_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter!! :) Follow me on Tumblr @Coque-and-balls


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